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    September 05

    隐形人

    我最近爱听孙燕姿的歌,瘦弱的身体承载巨大的能量,我多希望自己也能这样。
    9月的第一天,见到了近一年没见的大学同学,我们那时候四人帮的成员,大家都没什么变化。只是读研究生的女孩儿更愿意问别人的工作有编制吗,公务员吗,事业吗?这些执着在爸爸妈妈脑中挥之不去的典型稳定工作代表。我每次遇见图安稳的女孩儿,我都能想起立春里的蒋雯丽,一辈子没脚踏实地,耽误了能找个好人家嫁掉的大好年华,最后梦想还是没能实现,坚持了也努力了一辈子,看不上别人也撑不起自己的一辈子,除却梦想一无所有的一辈子,到底是悲凉还是荣耀,个中滋味,只有蹲在天安门前面的她明白。我每次都能想起她,也能想起自己。我身边有这么一群女孩子,按说这个年龄相亲,有车有房的男生也算是普及了,可我们就是顺不下自己,坐在别人的车里,总不是自己想要的滋味,实际每个女孩子都想嫁个不愁吃喝的好人家,可我们的确又认为感觉比什么都重要。我们看着摆在面前的大面包,却蹬蹬的跑向只能吃一口的馒头,是年轻还太理想,没到被别人选来选去的份上,还是我们知道自己要什么呢?
    我的搬书工作还在有条不紊的进行,有差错的地方也能及时解决不再慌张了,一年的时光,我想我的确有些许的成长,速度很慢,我又想起一句话:我爱不上我不理解的世界。
    最近看了点书,原来读过的又捧起来重新再读,我发现我对年轻作家的书越来越没兴趣,实际日本人的书很经读,中国老者的书也很经读,都是些实实在在的话和终身受用的品质,只是拿到现在用,很多已经不受人待见了。有本书的名字挺吸引我的,叫那些忧伤的年轻人,断断续续的读下来,这人比我还怀旧,还忧民,我不太喜欢整本书都忧伤,我够忧伤了。
    认识了几个优秀的人,视野开阔了一些。这是我的收获。
    马上要过25岁了,有点紧张,好像这几年对年龄的增长格外的敏感,结婚的一多,再沉稳的心也难免绞痛,还好是阵痛,看了那些繁华的热闹,自己反而越发没有波澜。
    一年了,我还没踏实,庆幸吧。
    送给航的栀子花,你不说翠绿的让人难忘吗?呵呵

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    航 刘wrote:
    哈哈,谢谢姗姗,这朵栀子花很漂亮,我很喜欢。
    Sept. 23

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